Those Distant Bells
by munchkinjenny05
Summary: A sequel to "Keep Singing Out." AU- Since they left Lima to start a new life, Quinn has never looked back. That is until a phone call changes everything and forces her to confront the one thing in her life that she's still running from, her family...
1. Chapter 1

**I always said that I'd potentially be up for revisiting past stories so here we are. Here is the first chapter to my sequel for "Keep Singing Out." It is set approximately 3 years after that story ended. Normally I hate future fics, but as it was my first story, it seemed right to revisit it and the idea of Beth as a child living with Rachel and Quinn in domestic bliss was too good to ignore.**

**Originally, this was going to be a oneshot, but they tend to get overlooked, so I figured I would break it up into a few chapters instead. I have no idea how long this is going to be yet, we will have to see.**

**I hope you enjoy this, it made me smile many times as I wrote it. I'm so excited to get it posted that I haven't had chance to proofread it. Please ignore any errors.**

It was a morning like any other. Quinn awoke naturally, she never needed an alarm, she was as attuned to her daughter's sleeping habits as ever. Sure enough, before she had a chance to sit up or nudge the slumbering brunette at her side, the familiar call came.

"RaRa!" Quinn smiled. _Right on time._ She felt the other girl's body shift beside her as Rachel got up from the bed and with a slight measure of reluctance, padded out across the hall to Beth's room. Quinn had felt a twinge of jealousy when this ritual first began, feeling slightly sad that her daughter called for someone else upon waking. She quickly realised what was really going on. Beth might only be 3 years old, but she was astute enough to work out that Rachel was the one that she could wrap around her little fingers, the good cop to Quinn's disciplinarian. That assigned role sometimes irked Quinn, but they couldn't both be the fun one, somebody had to say no. _I can't have my daughter turning into a Rachel Berry style diva _she thought with a chuckle. Besides that, it was clear that the other girl's pancake making skills were far superior to Quinn's. The blonde smiled wider, listening out as her girlfriend gently chided her daughter.

"Call me Rachel, okay, my name is Rachel, remember." This too was customary, the nickname stuck regardless though. Quinn thought it was sweet, whenever she wanted to tease the brunette she let it fall from her lips. Rachel pretended she wasn't amused, but Quinn could see that she secretly loved it. It made her happy to see the bond that her two favourite girls shared.

Quinn headed downstairs, turning on the coffee machine and placing a glass of milk on the table for Beth. She sat for a moment, savouring the rare silence, before deciding that it was too quiet and turning the radio on. She hummed along to the track as she set the table. Rachel arrived moments later, a giggling Beth on her hip. The little girl's arms were around her neck, her fingers entwined in Rachel's mussed dark tresses. _Always the hair, she's fascinated by it. _She gazed adoringly at the sleepy child. Beth was a vision of pale white skin, hazel eyes and angelic blonde curls. She even had the Fabray eyebrow quirk down; there was no doubt that she was her mother's daughter.

Quinn smiled at Rachel, they looked beautiful together, and her heart swelled at the sight as though it was the first time she was seeing it. "Good morning." She kissed both of them until Beth wriggled impatiently; signalling that now was time for breakfast. Quinn watched as Rachel let Beth stir the batter, blind to the mess, or the fact that more blueberries were ending up in the little girl's mouth than the mixture. "Hey, save some for us." Quinn responded, her tone only half serious.

Beth looked at her incredulously, her eyes stating that she couldn't possibly eat them all. "Oh mommy!" She lamented, stirring furiously, her lip stuck out in an adorable pout.

"There's plenty." Rachel retorted, snatching a handful for herself as she and Beth giggled like partners in crime. Quinn sighed, but she was too happy to sulk for long. She never tired of watching Beth's rapt expression as Rachel flipped the first pancake. It was magical to her, and the little girl always insisted on tasting that one. Only when the first one was safely tossed would Beth get down from the counter and begin to eat. _It really is a good morning_ Quinn thought contentedly.

Then the phone rang and everything changed. "I'll get it." Rachel replied. Quinn barely registered the interruption, sifting through the junk mail. She was waiting to hear about her latest job application and thoughts of that, instead of whoever could be ringing so early, were what filled her mind. However, when Rachel came in again moments later, her demeanour was so drastically altered that Quinn couldn't fail to notice.

"What's wrong?" She asked, automatically fearing the worst.

"I'm so sorry Quinn, it's your dad, there's been an accident." Quinn stayed seated, not trusting herself to stand as she waited for the news to absorb. She didn't know how she felt, she hadn't seen or spoken to her father since the day he found out she was pregnant. His choice.

"Is he..?" She didn't allow herself to complete the sentence, not in front of Beth, but Rachel's eyes couldn't hide the truth. She winced, springing into action. "Okay, take Beth into the den. Put _The Wizard of Oz _on and close the door." Rachel nodded, taking the little girl's hand and plate, and leading her away. Quinn heard her daughter ask what was wrong, and her heart sank, but it wasn't long before she was distracted by her favourite movie._ Okay, let's do this. _Quinn steeled herself as she picked up the dangling receiver.

The details didn't matter. Quinn couldn't take them in. She knew it was selfish but she was more concerned with what was going to happen next. Her dad was dead, and that meant a funeral. She had sworn on the day that they left for New York that she'd never go back to Lima. There was nothing to draw her back, everything she loved was here. Even Rachel's dads' had fled town to be closer to their darling daughter. It may have been where she grew up, but Ohio had never felt like home. Quinn gradually became aware that the dial tone was echoing endlessly in her ear. She replaced the phone in its cradle. Rachel was there waiting, folding her into a hug. No tears would come.

"Is Beth okay?" Quinn asked finally, she didn't want her daughter to pick up on any of this.

"She's fine." Rachel assured, stroking the unbrushed soft blonde hair that hung over Quinn's face. "How are you?" She retorted earnestly, concern radiating from her.

"I honestly don't know. I'm not sure how to feel, nothing's changed; your dads' have both been more of a father to me than Russell ever was. Dying doesn't make him a saint."

"I know you're angry, that's okay, I would never begin to tell you how to feel, but, and don't take this the wrong way, he's still your father. You're allowed to grieve."

Quinn sighed, snuggling closer against Rachel's chest. "I know, but for now, can't we just rewind time, go back to having breakfast and pretend this never happened.

"I'm sorry Quinn." The brunette whispered, holding her closer. Only then did a few teardrops fall, rolling down her cheek and onto Rachel's pyjama top.

The next few days had a shadow over them, and that shadow was the looming spectre of Lima, Ohio. Quinn had considered not going home for the funeral at all, but Rachel had convinced her that if she didn't she would regret it and Rachel was almost always proved right about these things. So Quinn gritted her teeth and made the arrangements. What they absolutely couldn't agree on was what to do with Beth. Rachel thought it would be a good idea to bring her, especially since her father was back living there, a fiancé and unborn baby in toe.

"She hasn't seen him in ages and I hear the new house is lovely." Rachel wasn't letting it drop. Quinn still couldn't get her head around why Puck was so anxious to raise his family in Lima; she'd been desperate to get out. Needless to say that she didn't share his nostalgia for the place, she was happy for him though. He had the family, house and furniture that she'd been unable to give him. He would get a chance to be a fulltime dad this time like he had always craved.

"It isn't Puck that I'm worried about." Quinn muttered, more to herself than Rachel. Her whole family would be gathered together, generations of Fabrays, and the idea of facing her mom or her Aunt was bad enough. She could hear Rachel's desperation to say that maybe her mother had changed, thankfully she didn't. Quinn didn't believe that; she struggled to accept that Judy had been mellowed by the years. After all, there hadn't been so much as a phone call since her initial flurry of interest after the divorce. _Absence certainly hadn't made her heart grow fonder. _It was for the best, she didn't need her mother, and she had a happy family here already. It was the notion of disrupting that which had unsettled her to this extent. Quinn was a bundle of nerves. She didn't want to regret this decision.

She found Beth playing with her toy karaoke machine. It was inevitable really that even at 3 she had developed a love of singing and performing. Quinn jokingly called it _The Rachel Effect, _but really she and puck were just as much to blame. She had sung to Beth since she was in the womb and Puck still used his guitar as an effective lullaby. "Honey, help mommy choose some toys, we are going on a trip to see daddy."

Beth grinned and began to gather her things. It made Quinn happy to see her so excited. She had no need to know the real reason they were going, in fact, she was determined to keep Beth away from the rest of her family for the duration. "How long?" Beth asked, trying to cram the entire contents of her toy box into her backpack.

Quinn laughed. "That's too many; we are only going for a few days." She hoped that was true. The prospect of even a few days seemed like a lifetime.

"Mommy, why are you sad?" Beth asked once her toys were packed. Quinn scooped her daughter into a hug, relishing the comfort of her, the warmth of her skin that forever smelled faintly of blueberries.

"How could I be sad when I have the prettiest, most loving daughter in the world?" Quinn retorted, burying her face into Beth's soft curls so that she wouldn't see the tears that threatened. "I love you so much baby." Beth just smiled, eyebrow quirked in a way that suggested that she thought she was far from a baby anymore.

"Love you too." She replied, hugging back as hard as her little arms could manage.


	2. Chapter 2

**Here's the next chapter. Thanks for all the positive reviews. It makes me happy to think that there are people that want to revisit this as much as I did. I hope you like this chapter just as much; it's kind of a filler chapter, before the drama of the funeral and reunion I guess, but that's not a bad thing.**

As soon as they entered Lima, Quinn felt all the familiar feelings settle back over her. She shuddered, grateful that Beth was asleep so that she didn't have to mask this or put a brave face upon their return. She had never been happier than the day they graduated. It promised an escape, the only reason she had stuck out those final years of high school. So many times she had been tempted to quit, especially on the days that she felt like she was missing too much of Beth's early development because of pop quizzes or homework, but although she had often felt guilty or like a bad mother, she hadn't abandoned her education. She had the Berry's to thank for that, Rachel especially. She may have regretted much of what she had done in those early days, but finishing school didn't make the list.

Now they were back and it only seemed like days since they had left. Quinn sometimes forgot that, of course, it hadn't been long, only since Rachel started college. The happiness that New York offered made Lima appear like a lifetime ago, for her at least. She wasn't clueless, and she knew that Rachel sometimes missed her hometown, even when she wholeheartedly professed her love for the big city, after all, why shouldn't she? Rachel had some happy memories here. Quinn had made many too, but in her present state of mind, she was blind to that, purely drawn into the sadness that this town held for her.

She felt selfish, but the words slipped out regardless. "I can't believe we are back here again." Quinn muttered, staring out against the desolate, grey sky. Her girlfriend might be a fan, but she had never liked winter in Ohio.

Rachel nodded. "It's strange "she replied with none of Quinn's venom. She was undoubtedly thinking of being home without her fathers' for the first time. Quinn wished they were here. Hiram and Leroy had always made Lima less lonely. The Berry house had always been full of warmth, laughter and love. That in any case, was something to miss about this place. "At least my daddy was shrewd enough to keep a bolthole in Lima just in case."

"It's a good thing, because as we all know, Rachel Berry doesn't do Motels." Quinn retorted. She knew it was wrong to still tease her girlfriend about the disaster that was their first weekend away together, especially since the brunette had worked so hard to curb her diva tendencies these days, but Quinn welcomed the distraction. _Anything to stop thinking about tomorrow._ She wished she had more time. Unfortunately, the Fabray's didn't like to dwell on things. As far as they were concerned, the sooner the better, but that didn't help Quinn's head space one bit. _It's all happening so fast, too fast. I just want to stop, take a breath._

Rachel opened her mouth to refute her girlfriend's mockery, but upon seeing her pale and anxious face, she promptly closed it and squeezed the blonde's hand gently. "We're here." She whispered moments later. Rachel busied herself with the bags while Quinn scooped the still sleeping Beth into her arms and carried her inside.

Beth's eyes flickered open and without missing a beat she said, "Is it time to go see daddy now?"

Quinn grinned. "You're going over there later for a sleepover, do you remember? First let me fix you something to eat." Beth sighed in a way that sounded remarkably like a teenage girl. Quinn ignored the grumbling. _Don't let her grow up too fast_ she pleaded silently to the universe. "Go and get your backpack and ask Rachel if she wants anything." Beth dutifully trotted off and came back minutes later, having persuaded Rachel to give both her and her bag a piggy back. Quinn rolled her eyes. _She's such a soft touch._

When they arrived at Puck's house, it was getting dark, but that didn't render the house any less impressive in Quinn's eyes. She was taken aback. It was bigger than she expected. "Remind me, just how many kids are they having?" She whispered to Rachel as she rang the bell. It brought home to her how much had changed; Noah Puckerman wasn't a slightly irresponsible 16 year old that cleaned pools anymore, he hadn't been that for a while. Quinn was excited to see him; it had been far too long.

"One, mommy, my baby sister." Beth chirped in response.

Quinn stifled a laugh. "Thanks honey." She replied, kissing the top of the pretty blonde head.

"You don't know that it's a girl yet sweetheart." Rachel replied. "There might be a brother waiting to meet you." The unhappy expression on Beth's face made them both chuckle.

Puck answered the door and before he could even speak a word of greeting, Beth had thrown herself into his arms. He grinned and spun her around. "I've missed you kiddo." She hugged him tight. "How are my favourite girls doing?" He asked as he motioned them inside. Beth chattered away, taking it upon herself to answer for all of them. Only when she had wandered off to find Puck's pet gecko Iggy, did they talk seriously. "I'm sorry about your dad Quinn, he was an asshole, that's for sure, but it still sucks."

Quinn just nodded; she didn't really know how to reply. She left it to Rachel to fill him in about their plans and they spoke a little about New York. The brunette made it sound perfect, like a fairytale and Quinn supposed that for them, after all they had been through, it was. At once she wished she was back there, snuggled safely in their apartment, all of this a world away. "How are things with you? How are mother and baby doing?" Quinn asked, desperate to change the subject.

"They're both good. Be back later tonight, Juliet is spending the day with her folks, telling them the good news. We found out today that the baby is a boy."

_Uh oh _Quinn thought, _I don't want to be him when Beth finds out._ What she said though, as she pulled him into a hug, was "Congratulations!" She could feel the boy's excitement. She thought that nobody deserved this more. "Hey, maybe this time the baby really will come out with a Mohawk." She joked.

"That would be awesome." He replied with a grin.

Time passed quickly and too soon, they were saying their goodbye's for the night. Quinn snuck in and planted one last brief kiss on her sleeping daughter's forehead before they slipped away. Beth, however, wasn't the only reason that she was sad to leave Puck's place. It already felt like a home away from home. She realised that she had missed him. Even now, seeing him with Beth still gave her the most amazing feeling, against all the odds, he had shown himself to be fantastic father. She couldn't believe that there had been a time when she doubted him. It might be unorthodox what they shared, but they had made it work. Together, they were a family.

As they left, Quinn pulled Rachel closer. "I love you." she breathed, feeling Rachel smile into the kiss.

Rachel caressed her cheek tenderly. "I love you too. You will be okay tomorrow, I know you will. You are strong Quinn, you always were." She tried to hold on to Rachel's belief. Her own conviction was wavering, and she knew that tomorrow would prove to be far from easy.

"Is this a mistake?" She asked later, feeling safe to voice her concerns in the shelter of the darkness, where Rachel couldn't see her face, only hear the slight tremor in her voice. This was a question that she couldn't stop asking herself and every time she did, her mind offered up a different answer. She couldn't settle upon which was the right one. _If in doubt, ask Rachel. _She felt the brunette move towards her instinctually, wrapping a protect arm around her waist.

"I honestly don't know, but either way, it's something you have to do." Quinn exhaled loudly; wondering why being an adult always had to mean that you always had to do things that you didn't want to. She envied Beth, her innocence, her happy outlook. The world hadn't been tainted for her yet. _I hope it never is. _

Quinn slept fitfully, tormented by dreams that she could no longer remember upon waking. She was relieved at least that her subconscious had hidden the nightmares from her, since a living hell already awaited in the form of her gathering family and that was enough to deal with. She couldn't remember ever being this tired, even when Beth was a baby. It settled like a lead weight across her shoulders and neck. She looked over, saw that Rachel's side of the bed was cold and empty and called out to her. As she waited for the brunette to appear, her mind, rather unhelpfully, saw fit to conjure up the memory of a particularly horrific Fabray family function.

The recollection was of her grandparents Golden Wedding Anniversary. It should have been a happy occasion, but in typical fashion it was another excuse for one-upmanship. The fabray's just loved to lord their success over each other's heads. It occurred to Quinn that she had chosen to remember this day in particular, although there had been plenty of others, because she had felt so helpless then. She'd had little ammunition to compete with her older cousins on her father's side. They all attended Ivy League colleges and flaunted scholarships or other such honours, whilst she had barely started high school, not yet a Cheerio even. _If you thought that was bad, wait until they see you now _the voice in the head jeered. Quinn was tempted to bury herself under the bedclothes but she heard Rachel's footsteps on the stairs, getting louder.

"I can't do this." She whimpered. Rachel placed a large mug of coffee on the bedside table and took Quinn's head in her hands.

"Yes you can, we can do this together."

"Promise me that if it gets too much we can leave."

Rachel smiled. "I swear, even if it's only been 5 minutes."Just knowing that Rachel had an exit strategy made Quinn feel better. _I have the best girlfriend in the world. _ Before she could voice her gratitude, Rachel handed her the mug and spoke again. "When you're ready, come downstairs, I made breakfast."

"I'm not hungry." Quinn protested, yawning. She took a big sip from the mug, praying that the caffeine would kick in soon.

"You have to eat; you need your strength today." Quinn couldn't argue with that logic. Strength was an understatement. _It'll take more than coffee and cereal to prepare me for this. _She met Rachel's gaze and seeing the worry there, she grudgingly nodded and running her fingers through her hair with a sigh, she followed the brunette.

The table was laden with a rich spread of fruit juices, cereals and berries. Quinn had half expected something like this, because cooking was a Rachel Berry stress reliever, but the other girl had surpassed herself. It was evident that she'd obviously had trouble sleeping too, if this was any indication she'd been up since the early hours. Quinn smirked when she noticed the pancakes in the centre. It tugged at her heartstrings to see them there. "Old habits die hard, huh?" she remarked.

"Yeah, they do." Rachel replied, pulling up a chair.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks so much for all the amazing feedback. As a result, this story seems to be growing into more than I expected. **

**Here is the next chapter; the terrible weather here inspired me. It's kind of depressing, but you all expected that didn't you? There is some hope to be found though, how could there not be. So enjoy!**

**Merry Xmas and a Happy New Year! Your reviews would be a great present lol**

As they walked in, it seemed that the actual timbers of the church held their breath. Quinn had anticipated that every head would swivel upon their entrance, each pair of eyes locking on the couple in silent judgement. However, seeing it unfold was still uncanny. She tried to block out the way that all the faces wore varying expressions of distaste or disbelief. Quinn couldn't remember a time when she had felt more judged. She recalled thinking that walking the halls of Mckinley had been difficult after the news of her pregnancy first broke, but this, here and now, was another level of uneasiness. It crossed her mind that there would never be a good time to bear this, whether it had been 3 years that had passed or indeed 33.

Her trademark icy glare had never felt so flimsy and she allowed herself the comfort of letting her façade falter only once, as she tightened her grip on Rachel's inner arm. They eased in an unoccupied row of pews towards the back and Quinn relaxed a little. A single voice rang out through the hushed atmosphere, but Quinn was unable to pinpoint the owner. "The prodigal daughter returns!" She didn't flinch. It was a tame remark compared to the backlash she had predicted. Rachel paled a fraction, but Quinn refused to give them the satisfaction of reacting at all.

She thought that Rachel had timed their arrival rather well. The service would be starting soon, thereby directing people's attention elsewhere. _Here we go,_ Quinn mused inwardly, bracing herself. She, in turn, focused her attention on the photo of her father that loomed in front of the casket, discretely blocking it from view. She saw only his cold, hard eyes burning into her. The same glare that had been filled with such fury and disappointment the last time she had seen her father. What hurt the most was the knowledge that if Russell Fabray had been standing before her in the flesh, his expression wouldn't have altered. Nothing would have changed and for that reason, she blinked back stinging tears. _I refuse to apologise anymore._

"She isn't here." Rachel whispered, interrupting Quinn's less than pleasant trip down memory lane. She didn't need to look around or verify the identity of who the brunette might be referring to. It was obvious.

Quinn was surprised, of all the things she had expected to happen today, her mother's absence was not something she would have considered. Although they had by now been divorced for some time, she would have personally guaranteed not only Judy's presence, but the fact that she had clearly had a hand in organising this whole affair. Quinn could see her mother's touches everywhere she looked. Judy Fabray had always loved playing the martyr and it was no different this time, separated or not. _What greater opportunity than this?_ Quinn waited, not about to offer up any prayers just yet. _She'll be here. _It was a certainty. Quinn hadn't dodged a bullet; God couldn't possibly be that loving.

Sure enough, in that instant, the door opened and in she floated. _She hasn't aged a day, must have married a plastic surgeon _Quinn decided. The biggest difference she detected was that Judy appeared not only sober, but gladly so. _Is this what my mom looks like when's she's happy? _Quinn wondered. Her mother, mercifully, hadn't noticed her, too preoccupied with parading the man on her arm, catapulting him towards the front, into the awaiting lion's den. Quinn conducted a silent appraisal of the stranger, casting her eye over the man that had wrought such apparent changes in her mother's life. She surveyed him without bitterness, in spite of everything, it made sense that her mother should secure a new husband; Judy needed a man to be her backbone. What did knock her for six was the sight of the young girl who trailed a few steps behind. The way Judy fussed over said girl confirmed Quinn's worst fears. _The daughter upgrade_ she conceded bitterly trying not to stare.

In spite of all her faults, and the many wrongs she had committed against Quinn during her life, she had never expected her mother to seek to replace her so easily. She had apparently rewritten history and given herself a fresh start. Seeing Judy's happy make-shift family was a knife in Quinn's gut. The pretty strawberry blonde teen appeared to be about 15 years old. Alarm bells rang for Quinn; this was the age she had been when Judy had begun to lose control, and that couldn't be a coincidence. She wanted to scream but was unable to force any air into her lungs. _Quite the cosy setup, rich husband, beautiful stepdaughter, a chance to get it right this time…_

Only Rachel's hand over hers kept her in place. Never before had she been so eager not to see something through to the end. _RUN! RUN! _Before she could move the priest's voice pinned her further into her seat. _Too late_ the voice in head sighed. The words drifted past her and Quinn couldn't catch them. The ones she did hear described a man which bore few similarities to the father she'd known. The only phrase that did ring true was the one that said Russell was a God fearing and devout man_. If you disregard the parts of the bible that preach Christian charity, tolerance and love, at least. _The level of hypocrisy was enough to make Quinn feel sick. Unless her father had undergone a drastic character change in the intervening years since she'd left home, this was all false. _My father becoming a good Christian is about as credible as the idea that my mom could gain a level of independence or self-worth. _She quietly seethed; the Fabrays were still perpetuating their own brand of propaganda. Quinn wondered when exactly they had started to swallow their own lies.

Leaving at this point would attract more unwanted attention but she didn't care. It was too much. She couldn't stand it. She had to get out. "I need some fresh air." As she moved through the aisle, a single head tilted up to met hers. Judy Fabray's eyes connected with her daughter's momentarily before looking away. There was no life altering emotion to be found in the cursory glance, no secret sorrow or shame, no desire to reconnect. In actuality it was so fleeting, Quinn wondered if she had imagined it. She might as well be a stranger, or at best a long lost acquaintance politely acknowledged in the street. _Maybe that's all I ever was_ she thought. Nevertheless, the dismissal wounded her and Quinn felt like that lost 16 year old girl again. This time, she wouldn't cry or plead. She slipped out without another sound.

"Quinn, wait!" Rachel called, catching her elbow and pulling her back.

"You saw that, right?" Quinn croaked out, her head in her hands.

"I did, I'm sorry." The brunette leant forwards, meaning to encircle her in a hug. Quinn shrugged off the touch. She noticed the hurt that flared in Rachel's eyes and the way the girl fought to hide it. It made Quinn feel a million times worse.

She looked at the floor. "Can you go and bring the car around? I just need some time…" Rachel's shoulders slumped a little but she nodded and did as she was asked._ It's already begun, pushing her away; this town brings out the worst in me._ Quinn didn't call her back though, she couldn't.

At some point since she had fled outside, it had started to rain. She was oblivious to the bruising downpour that pelted her already numbed skin. Quinn looked up at the angry sky, letting the water obliterate her perfectly applied make-up, she didn't need her disguise anymore. Her hair clung to her in a soggy mass, she shook it and laughed. _Fuck it._ She wanted to scream, let the sounds of the rain swallow up her disillusion. Instead, she listened to the voice, _what did you expect? _it lamented. She paced, waiting for Rachel, wanting to say sorry.

"You too, huh?" A voice cut feebly through the crashing water bouncing off the pavement. Quinn jumped. She'd thought she was alone. A small, huddled figure beckoned to her from under the overhang in the roof and Quinn raced towards the shelter, shivering now that her lack of awareness had been broken. She peered at the unfamiliar woman; curious as to whether she would be a friend or foe. She realised that it wasn't a stranger at all, but she couldn't place where she had seen the lady before. "Quinnie, is that you? I thought it must be, I'd recognise such beauty anywhere and you haven't changed much at all." The lady saw her bewilderment and smiled. "Apparently, I am not so blessed; it's me, Mrs Baxter."

"My old Sunday school teacher?" Quinn didn't expect to see a friendly face from the past, especially not in that moment. She ran her fingers through her hair, feeling slightly self-conscious.

"Don't worry dear, the weather makes fools of us all. I just couldn't stand it in there, I know it's a funeral but does it have to feel so oppressive?" She chucked softly and in spite of herself, Quinn smiled.

"I didn't expect to see you here." Quinn replied. It was well-known that Mrs Baxter and her father didn't see eye to eye on a lot of things. Her rather more liberal interpretation of the bible was a cause for constant conflict between her and Russell. "Didn't he get you fired?"

"Actually, I resigned. I wanted to teach you children about the joy within the bible, but it was all sin and punishment, it didn't sit right with me." Mrs Baxter paused, searching in her handbag for a lighter. She lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. "Anyway, enough about that how are you dear? I could say the same to you. The general consensus in town seemed to be that you wouldn't come. I myself wasn't sure."

Quinn shrugged, unsure how to proceed. "It felt like something I had to do. I think I wanted to show them that I wasn't that little girl anymore, try and make my peace with it all somehow. I wanted to finally let it go, but being back, I feel more lost than ever. I don't belong here, my mother has a new family, did you know that?" It all came out in a garbled rush. _Word vomit_ Quinn decided.

The old woman sucked on her cigarette thoughtfully. "You have a family too, though don't you, a beautiful daughter by all accounts, hold onto that and put the past away. Bury it with him." Quinn pulled out a sheath of photos that she always carried, carefully shielding them from the wet. Her companion took them, and together they poured over the images. Quinn felt better, more grounded.

When Mrs Baxter spoke again, her voice had a faraway quality, as though she was deep in thought. "You always were the most compliant child. I always said, there goes a girl who has no idea of her own mind, but I was wrong. You did, you just hid it away, took it upon yourself to fix a wrong that was no fault of your own. Your father didn't have the son he craved so you took it upon yourself to be the perfect daughter. Such a shame, I wish I could've done more. Take your happiness Quinn, you're owed it…" She trailed off, crushing her cigarette under her boot heel. "Anyway, I think someone is calling you, she sounds worried, so I think you should go."

Quinn poked her head out into the lessening downpour. Sure enough, Rachel was searching for her. No surprise there. "Goodbye, Mrs Baxter." She uttered warmly before stepping out. Rachel was frantic so she didn't delay any further, racing through the puddles towards her girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry." It didn't feel like enough, her apologises never did, but regardless Rachel accepted them gratefully.

"Where were you?" Rachel asked, her curiosity overtaking her anxiety now that she knew Quinn was safe.

Quinn smiled. "Would you believe, I found an ally, here of all places." Rachel studied the blonde; before her eyes trailed the path she had walked, her confusion evident. She didn't question it. _Now is not the time_ Quinn thought with a shiver, and the brunette agreed, wrapping her arms around herself.

"So, are you ready to go?"

"No, not yet, I've changed my mind."


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been a while, blame Christmas and New Year if you must. I hope you all had fun! **

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter, because it was especially emotional for me to write, in particular Quinn's goodbye, during which I drew on my own experiences so it was a kind of personal and therapeutic experience. I'd love your feedback on it, and of course, the chapter as a whole.**

**I know I'm mercilessly stringing this out, I don't mean to, but that notwithstanding, for those of you waiting for Judy to make a larger appearance I'm sorry. The next chapter I promise! **

Quinn opted not to go back inside. The pretences she heard at the beginning of the service were still etched in her mind. She hadn't come here for those hollow words; she had things of her own that needed to be said. For now, she decided that it was right to focus on her silent goodbye to her father, suppressing her strong desire to confront her mother. It was necessary, but it could wait. This could not, her father would soon be buried under a shower of dirt and she had already missed her chance to talk to him in the years gone by. She had to do this now. Russell would neither hear nor heed her silent farewell, but it was more for her benefit than his anyway, that much was clear. _If you listen to this, it will reach you regardless, whether or not you are lying in front of me, won't it?_ Quinn hovered, gazing down into the freshly dug pit, Rachel's hand clasped tightly in hers. The privacy was welcomed; soon they would arrive to lower the casket into the depths, a procession her family and former friends following behind. She glanced behind her; all too aware that time may be running out.

She couldn't do this with an audience nor could she bear to lurk around in the semi-darkness waiting for them to scatter afterward.Quinn imagined that some of the family would loiter for ages just to deny her that satisfaction, such vindictiveness wasn't beneath them no matter how unbecoming it may be. Besides, Judy Fabray wouldn't be around forever and there were words that needed to be exchanged with her as well. This gave her no choice. _It's now or never. _Quinn felt slightly foolish whispering to an empty hole, but she contented herself with the thought that the churned up soil was waiting to receive her father, so maybe there was some meaning to this, as much as was possible. Quinn crossed herself gently and felt Rachel step back a little, giving her the space that the brunette was instinctively alerted that she required, whilst still remaining close enough to reach out to, just in case.

Quinn smoothed the damp fabric over her thighs and wrestled with her sodden hair for a moment, the subconscious need for her father's approval heavily engrained deep within her no matter how hard she tried to rid herself of it. Her less than perfect appearance seemed strangely fitting to the occasion. _One last disappointment_ her mind taunted. Quinn didn't give in to the overwhelming desire to flee and forced herself to take a deep breath. _Ready or not, this is it. _She fought to say all the things that she had longed to express that day, but had been too distraught and scared to utter. They threatened to pour out in an endless burst and she had to compose the fragments into some semblance of coherence before they spewed forth of their own accord. It was no easy task.

"I'm not sorry for what I did, my only regret is that I didn't try harder to get through to you and make you understand. I wish that you could have been a bigger part of my life and that we had really known one another, because we never had that even for a moment. I envy that of others still, the relationship they have with their fathers, and the sad thing is that maybe I always will. The truth is that such a bond was always missing for us, even when I was young enough to worship you. I deeply wish I could stand here and talk about the happy times we shared but there is a bitter undercurrent that runs through all my memories. In any case, I fear that I would stumble over the lies so I will spare us both the false platitudes."

Quinn felt the tears coming, but made no move to wipe them away, lost in her final speech to a father that had never really listened to her before. "I cannot forget your face. I wish I could let go of the anger which that day conjures up whenever I think of it, or that I could forget the sadness that you caused me many days since but I can't. I suppose the tragedy is that I really am my father's daughter. I was blessed with both your stubborn streak and your temper, but I cannot be sorry for what I said or did, because I know it was the right thing. I wish I could really tell you to how happy I am and about the life I've made, and that you could willingly share in the joy of it, but it's too late for that, it has been for a long time and there is no point hoping for those things anymore. It's over and rightly or wrongly this is the end. All that's left to say is my goodbye. So, goodbye daddy."

As those last halting words left her lips, her voice cracking with emotion, Quinn reached into her pocket and pulled out her small cross with shaking fingers._ Do you remember when you gave me this? _She wanted to say but didn't. The weight of the jewellery felt foreign in her hands. It was jarring to think that it used to hang around her neck every day for 6 years, as much a piece of how she was perceived by others as her inherited eyebrow quirk or the red and white cheerleading skirt that she later wore. That necklace was a part of who she used to be. It had been cherished, important, a symbol of so much. More than youthful accomplishment at bible study, more than a belief in God, it had meant that her father had acknowledged her as more than an annoyance._ He was proud and he had given her a gift. _The only one that had meant anything to her. Quinn shook her head as she remembered the joy she had felt when her father presented it to her, that bright-eyed and eager child with an open palm waiting to receive. He had fastened it for her and she had giggled, a brief and happy moment that was all too fleeting.

Her fist clenched around the metal as she recalled how she had removed it, ripping it away, still in tears after she was effectively banished from her home. She had hidden it away in the bottom of a drawer where it had stayed until she left her Aunt's house in such a hurry. It was remarkable that it hadn't been forgotten or misplaced and it was most likely due to luck instead of anything else that it had survived at all. In spite of everything she had taken it with her wherever she moved, sweeping it along with the assorted contents of that cupboard. It had been so long since she had even looked at it, much less held it.

Quinn steeled herself, reminded of Mrs Baxter's wise words _bury the past with him. _It was that therefore that aided her, without a hint of hesitation, in tossing the necklace into the soft earth. The only sound was the soft gasp as she drew air in. Quinn felt lighter immediately, now that the last tether had been cut. _I don't need to hold onto this anymore. _It was true of a lot of things, and she felt she could finally let go now. Quinn didn't watch the pendant fall, there was no need, but she heard the faint sound as it landed. Oddly it made her smile, it was an almost happy sound, at odds with everything she should be feeling. She thought of Beth because somewhere in the recesses of her brain, the noise unwittingly triggered the recollection of one of her daughter's first musical toys. It had played on a loop when Beth was a baby and she often fell asleep to the sound. Quinn decided that she was glad of that positive mental image to be left with as she moved away.

"Feel better?" She turned to the brunette and her smile widened. If anyone else had asked that question she would have scowled or unleashed some snide retort. It would have sounded trivial or potentially sarcastic from other people's lips, but Rachel was different. Quinn could hear the secondary and arguably real question in the brunette's voice. What she was really asking was much more complex. Quinn nodded because yes, she was and she did. Part of what had haunted her had been laid to rest, coffin or not and undoubtedly that was indeed better.

"They are coming, I can hear them." Quinn replied. It was surreal; she had lost all track of time. It had seemed as though the service had only just begun, but yet she knew she was right, and that they were approaching. She shrank back and even as she stood on the fringes she still tried to make herself smaller and more inconspicuous.

"We could go and wait in the car, catch your…Judy when it's over…" Quinn nodded again, silently taking Rachel's hand.

There was no reason to stay. She had said what she had wanted to. There was no sense in enduring the spectacle that was about to unfold._ Let everyone else bear witness, I'm done. _As soon as they got to the car Rachel turned the heater up to full and the whole interior was quickly filled with warmth. Quinn briefly wondered if the brunette had done so in an attempt to steam up the windows and thereby obscure the outside world, but she discounted her notion because the distance afforded them little view anyway and Rachel's tiny shivers highlighted her real motive plainly enough. They had run the distance and Quinn chose to blame their collective breathlessness on that rather that the anxiety she could feel welling up inside. She snuggled close to the brunette, herself not feeling cold, but seeking the security. By now everyone would have gathered. The voice in her head assumed the raspy tones of the elderly priest and spoke the words that she knew the real man would be uttering to those assembled by the graveside. _We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life._

Quinn knew it was simultaneously foolish and unlikely but nevertheless she wished that her mother had seen the recognisable cross shining weakly out from the surface of the mud and as a result had known of her presence there. As soon as the idea crossed her mind she hated herself for thinking it. _Why do I still care? _She thought that it was possibly because, in this instance, unlike with her father, it wasn't yet too late. A thin sliver of hope remained and the idea of that was crushing. She was already agonising over what to say to her mom, and again she cursed herself as her mind raced. She had hoped that when she finally had this conversation enough time would have passed for her to be, if not blasé, then at best not an emotional wreck about it. Quinn doubted if such a thing was remotely plausible, knowing herself as she did. _Forever wouldn't be long enough._

Her relationship with her mother had never been as straightforward as the one she had with Russell. That was a cut and dry case of two people being internally dismayed by the other for various, sometimes simple and sometimes far-reaching reasons. It was no surprise, that there was a difference, given that Judy Fabray was a very complex woman. She had always been able to wound or inflate her daughter's fragile ego, knowing just the right thing to say or do. It didn't help that her moods were as changeable as Quinn's own, which always made for a volatile mix. Emotional blackmail was always her mother's speciality ultimately and Quinn hadn't and couldn't afford to forget that. She couldn't even begin to speculate on how the confrontation would go, it was safer not to, in spite of the fact that it appeared that her mother had changed since her daughter's departure. _So have I. More than you'd know, but some things never change and that's what I'm afraid of._

Quinn didn't have any longer to muse of her fears, the clock on the dashboard indicated that if she wanted to speak to her mother, she had to go now. Rachel fidgeted at her side, throwing her a look which plainly displayed her misgiving about what was due to happen.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Quinn replied. Never before had she so vehemently wanted a phrase to be true whilst at the same time categorically disbelieving it. "It'll be fine." She wasn't sure which of them she was trying to convince. She got out of the car leaving Rachel staring after her, wide-eyed with her expressive mouth set in an unflinching frown that she didn't even attempt to mask. _Thanks for the vote of confidence _Quinn thought bitterly, but she couldn't blame the brunette, not when she herself was so assured of failure.

"What am I doing?" she asked herself as she began her deliberately slow walk back towards the top of the hill. Her worries meant that she daren't stop or look back or else her determination would weaken and be at risk of faltering completely. "What the fuck am I doing?" She asked herself again, her feet carrying her closer, towards her mother and as a consequence, towards the aspects of her past that remained to be resolved.


	5. Chapter 5

**There is a lot of dialogue in this chapter; it was kind of unavoidable though so I hope it is okay. **

**It remains to be seen whether or not we have heard the last from Judy after this chapter. I am undecided. Enjoy! As ever I look forward to hearing what you think.**

The last few steps were the hardest. As she edged closer, Quinn imagined that it was an endurance test. She ignored the remaining heads that turned to face her and the hushed whispers that fought in vain to reach her ears. She stared straight ahead and kept walking. Luckily Judy was standing alone, angled away from the few stragglers that had stayed behind, but nonetheless she prayed that they would soon disperse. Her mother appeared deep in thought but Quinn had no idea what she might be contemplating, she could be lost in her memories, but it was just as likely that her mind was compiling a shopping list or figuring out what errands she had left to run. She had no way or knowing the things she was interrupting, so she took a deep breath and stepped forward.

Quinn cleared her throat awkwardly to attract her mother's attention. "Can we…can I talk-" The rest of her speech was stifled by the grin that Judy Fabray directed at her. The force of it was daunting and she was confused when the woman proceeded to snap her head to the side.

"Howard, Chastity, there is someone you must meet." As the man and the girl that she recognised from the church made their way over, her mother continued to wear that false smile. It was an expression that she used to mask her annoyance at unwanted callers or ignorant shop girls. Quinn refused to wince. She wouldn't give her mother the satisfaction of knowing that she recognised her apathy. "We can't stay long; we simply must get to the wake…" In that, she could sense Judy's unspoken warning that she shouldn't attend. _Not that I was planning to,_ Quinn reminded herself.

"I won't keep you, I just wanted to…" Her voice was remarkably level, which, given how much restrain she had to show, was an accomplishment in itself. Judy was nodding, already ushering her family over. Quinn's words might has well have been white noise. They stood in front of her awkwardly as her mother made vague introductions.

"This is Howard, my husband, and Chastity, my step daughter. You two, I'd like you to meet Lucy." Quinn's mouth gaped open at the use of her first name. Nobody had called her Lucy from the day she was born. She couldn't recall a single instance where she hadn't been known as Quinn by everyone at all times, even when she started school and they had a substitute teacher, there hadn't been one slip up. Everybody just knew. She was sometimes referred to as Quinnie by a select few, namely her parents or grandparents, and always Quinn or Q by the rest. Her name was never Lucy except on paper.

There was no doubt that Judy had done this on purpose, not only to un-nerve and wound her but to remind her that she no longer had a place there. She was stranger, distant and low down on her mother's list now. To her credit, she managed to extend her hand to meet Howard's waiting hand shake. He was a non-descript man with a limp grip, but Quinn noticed a genuine warmth in his smile of greeting and it felt like a mini life line.

"Lucy, hello. It's good to meet you. We've heard...uh…a lot about you." He responded tactfully.

_Was any of it good? _ She thought. "I prefer Quinn actually." She retorted without missing a beat, her gaze fixed on her mother as she spoke.

"Oh right, sorry, Quinn. Yes. I must say it's a surprise to see you here. Judy thought that given your estrangement with Russell that it might be…that you might decide against the whole affair."

Quinn smiled. "It's been difficult but after all, family is family, no matter what, don't you think?" She caught her mother's frown at the dig. It only lasted for a millisecond before her brow smoothed out again but it felt like a tiny triumph. Quinn had to suppress a sigh. _What am I doing? _ She didn't come here to try and score points against Judy. Howard scratched his chin, obviously picking up on the unspoken tensions. He was drowning and Quinn felt almost sorry for him. Judy predictably didn't lift a finger to help. She preferred to stay silent. _Cat got your tongue, mother? _Quinn shook the thought away. _Come on, you can do this._

The man swiftly changed the subject. He glanced down at the pretty girl on his left. She was studying Quinn's face blankly. She wondered if Chastity was marvelling at the mother-daughter resemblance. Mostly the girl looked bored and Quinn envied her the detachment that she had from this situation. "My daughter just loves school. How about you Quinn? You look like a smart girl, are you in school?"

Quinn shook her head. "Actually no, but I'm hoping to do my teaching degree. I plan to enrol just as soon as my daughter is old enough to start kindergarten. Until then, I'm working part time." All three eyes collectively widened and Harold turned red. It was clear that she had said too much. _What exactly did she tell them about me?_ She had no desire to speculate, that was her mother's problem. She had nothing to be ashamed of; this was the truth and furthermore, it was her reality.

"Is it true that you live in New York?" Chastity finally appeared interested now that the adults' feathers had been ruffled. "That must be so cool." She added, looking around at her own, less than thrilling surroundings sulkily.

"It's great, my girlfriend Rachel loves it, and she's going to be a big Broadway star when she graduates." At mention of her daughter's current lifestyle, Judy stepped forward. She looked furious.

"That's enough. Time to go. It's been a pleasure." She began to round them up, putting a protective arm around the young girl and steering her away from Quinn with a distasteful sneer.

Quinn felt guilty. It was a cheap shot bringing Rachel into this; she knew that her mother would react that way. _It was what I wanted, wasn't it?_ She hadn't been able to help herself. She felt a twinge of sadness as she mentioned New York; she didn't want to cheapen her life by using it as yet another tactic to get a rise out of Judy. It was just so hard when she was standing there impassively. The woman was an impenetrable as a statue. _Jesus, people think I'm an Ice Queen._ Quinn took another deep breath. She couldn't let it end like this.

"Mom, wait please…" This was her last olive branch. She had intended to say "_I'm sorry" _to finish that sentence but the words stuck in her throat. Her chest ached and her eyes burned.

"I don't have time for this." Quinn refused to give up. She might not have another chance. _God knows I'm not in any rush to come back to this town. _She stood her ground. Her mother wasn't going to relent so she tried again.

"Don't make me follow you to the wake, because I will if I have to and I know that you'll be even less eager to hear me in front of all those witnesses!" She called. Judy stopped and Quinn watched as she exchanged a few inaudible words with Howard. Whatever she said worked because they retreated to the car whilst she trekked back in her daughter's direction. "Just how many lies did you tell them?"Quinn didn't expect a real answer to be forthcoming. The one she got was fairly typical.

"I told them what I had to, nothing more. You made your feelings plain. I assumed that you never wanted to see me again. Excuse me if I'd prefer not to air this family's dirty laundry in public, something that you are apparently incapable of doing." Her tone was terse, almost cutting and it transported Quinn back to a time of Fabray family dinners where arguments instead of anecdotes were often exchanged. She remembered it all too well.

"Family? We haven't been a family for a long time, if we ever were. You were the one that made that perfectly clear, so don't pretend that any of this was ever my choice, okay, Judy?" It was rapidly turning into a confrontation. _This was so not what I wanted._ It was too late to backtrack; her temper was already fraying and threatening to run away with her.

"You had choices Quinn; you had more options than any of us. You chose to keep that bastard child instead of having a real future and you chose to start up with that Berry girl. Your father and I, we were the ones who had no real choice."

"Its Quinn now, is it?" She could feel the blanket of rage threatening to engulf her. She began counting in her head. _1…2…3…._ It was no use. "How dare you? You both tried to bully me into giving up a child that I loved, my own daughter, just to fit in with your plans. You never once asked me what I wanted, not ever. It was all assumed." She clenched her fists. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about my girlfriend like that either. Her name is Rachel, you know that. I wouldn't expect you to approve, how could you, you'd have to understand and in order for that, you would actually have to care about me, but please at least be courteous."

Judy scowled. "All I've ever wanted was for you to be a success, to make something of your life."

Quinn sighed at the outburst. She felt worn down, overwhelmed with feelings of intensely bitter resignation. Most of all, it was like having her father standing in front of her once more. She had forgotten how it felt to try and have a discussion with her parents. It was so unrelenting and exhausting. She had gotten used to reason and understanding, give and take. _Stay calm._

"You sound just like him, success and failure; those things are all that mattered. What about happiness, and what about love?" She had to blink back tears then. She refused to cry again, especially in front of her mother. She had to stay strong.

"What do you know about love? You're practically still a child." Judy spat. Quinn refused to be dismissed so readily. Maybe once, but not anymore, she was a different person now.

"How can you say that? I'm a better authority of what it means to be happy than you are. You have the audacity to try and belittle me because of my age, you are stunted, mother. You don't know how to love. I came here to see if we could try and repair what was broken. I foolishly thought that you might miss me or that you would actually like to see your granddaughter. My mistake. You don't deserve the chance I was offering."

"Quinn…" She turned away from her mother. She didn't want to be standing here on this hill anymore. It was a waste of time and it hurt too much. She was sick of talking in circles. _I'm done._

"Goodbye Judy, it was a pleasure."

She didn't look back as she descended. Quinn didn't want her last image to be of whatever emotion had passed over her mother's face. She was scared to identify whatever she found there. It would either be the death of hope or something more agonising. Her breaths were coming in short, sharp gasps which had nothing to do with the incline. She collapsed against the side of the car when she finally made it back, lacking the strength required to open the door and fall onto the seat. The cold metal against her back and the jagged feel of the gravel against her palms barely entered her consciousness.

What was aware of though was the reassuring pressure of Rachel's arms as she scooped her up and rocked her. It helped, despite the way it seemed that the brunette's comfort was coming from far away, as if they were standing at opposite ends of a long tunnel. "You're here." Quinn choked out as she buried her head against the brunette's chest. The steady beat of her heart was reassuring.

"Always, baby." Rachel sighed as she stroked her blonde hair.

"Can we go home now? Please."

Rachel smiled and squeezed her hand. "Of course we can. We'll go get Beth first okay, and then I'll drive us straight there-" She gently manoeuvred the unsteady blonde carefully into the passenger seat as she spoke.

Quinn shook her head. "No, I mean, let's go back to New York tonight. We could get the first flight out." Rachel took the blonde's face into her hands and met her hazel eyes head on.

"Soon Quinn, I swear, but not tonight, not yet." Quinn opened her mouth to plead and Rachel put a finger to her lips. "Do you trust me?" Quinn nodded. "Everything will be alright I promise." She leaned over and fastened Quinn's seat belt. "Let's go."

.


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay in uploading. After all the drama of the last chapter I was sort of left stuck as to where to go. I decided to write a sort of reactionary chapter, to show you where the character's head spaces are at. Mostly my excuse to write devastated Quinn (couldn't resist harking back to her panic attack in "Keep singing out." Did you catch the Wizard of Oz reference in a previous chapter too?), protective Rachel and daddy Puck. **

**I hope you like it. I rather enjoyed the scenes at Puck's house, they cheered me up. Nice fluffy chapters are set to follow this one because a happy end is a must and here will probably only be, at most, a few more chapters after this to wrap the story up. I'm planning on two, so enjoy while you can.**

"Can you stop the car please?" The words came out in one ragged breath and Quinn could feel the brunette's head twist towards her. Rachel's brown eyes were no doubt filled with concern but she didn't lift her head to meet them. The other girl drummed her fingernails on the steering wheel softly and Quinn didn't have to look up to know that her girlfriend was chewing on her lip anxiously. She knew exactly what Rachel was thinking, it was the same notion as hers. _But we're nearly there. _"Jesus Rach, just pull the fuck over, okay?" She snapped. Her tone carried more malice than she intended and the blonde felt a stab of guilt over her misplaced anger. _She doesn't deserve this, _her inner voice reasoned. _And I do? Does Beth, do any of us?_ Quinn was out of the car before it had a chance to completely stop, but the instant she was free she had no idea what to do. She wanted to scream or cry, to do anything to expel all the emotions that were clawing at her insides. Mostly, she wanted to run. Her eyes flitted around the expanse of the empty parking lot, and all she could focus on was how easy it would be to just place one foot in front of the other and keep on going.

The sense of utter despair was blocking out everything. It was so hard to fight. She turned back to Rachel, glancing at her from where remained in the driver's seat, too stunned to move. Her car seemed so far away, but just having it in her line of sight helped. She battled to keep herself anchored using numerous happy mental images of Beth played before her eyes like a slideshow. _Don't fall apart now; you've done the hard stuff._ Quinn hadn't felt this way for years and she had assumed that she was over her panic attacks. Then again, she guessed that it wasn't every day that you buried your father and had your heart ripped out by your mother yet again. Nevertheless, understanding the reasons didn't make the situation any easier to control. She was powerless; it was like being sucked back into her teenage shoes, that same quivering bundle of fear curled upon the Mckinley High choir room floor. _A giant step backwards._ She knew she shouldn't let her family affect her, but the pain that she had successfully dulled over time was rearing up again, eager to send fresh shock waves through her core. _This town will be the death of me. _ That was her last thought before she crashed to the ground.

It didn't even seem like 5 seconds had passed before Rachel was cradling her. She stroked her hair and spoke soothingly. That was comforting, and she felt her heart rate begin to slow to a normal rhythm, but it wasn't until her girlfriend began tracing familiar patterns against her back that she truly felt able to breathe normally. She was instantly able to recall those earlier hours of darkness when they lay together amongst the twisted sheets, and all Quinn wanted to do was stare at the sleepy girl by her side until her eyes closed and she drifted off. Rachel on the other hand, insisted that she turn over and began to draw shapes with her fingertips. This bedtime ritual of sorts had begun not long after they moved into their apartment and now she was utterly dependent on it. Each night, Quinn sighed contentedly at the caress upon her naked skin and was lulled into a deep sleep. She could never fight it and she felt her eyelids getting heavier right then.

"Why do I keep making these mistakes? I shouldn't have let her back in. I despise that she still has this power over me. I hate her."

"You had to try Quinn, she's your mother."

When Quinn spoke again, her anger and frustration had gone. Tears fell silently and her tone was more subdued. "What did I really ever do, what was so bad that I made it impossible for her to love me?" Her voice sounded like it belonged to a child, as though the girl that she'd been forced to abruptly leave behind forever at her old home had reappeared just for a minute.

"It was nothing you did, baby. Your parents were fucked up people. I guess your mother still is." Quinn's brain did at double take at the uncharacteristic use of a curse word. She could count on one hand the numbers of times that she had heard Rachel swear. It was reserved for extreme situations only. Despite the state she was in, Quinn recollected the last occasion with perfect clarity because incidences were so few and far between. It was when her girlfriend was looking after Beth and the toddler had to be rushed to the emergency room, Rachel couldn't reach Quinn on her phone and she was therefore understandably distraught.

"Wow, Rach, nice to know that you feel so strongly." She sat up and was able to smirk, grateful of the deflection.

"You and Beth are the most important things in the world to me, I'm not going to apologise for getting a little wound up when my family is threatened." Quinn had to laugh at the way Rachel all but snarled her reply. She may have been known for her temper, but Rachel's loyalty eclipsed hers, and she was a force to be reckoned with if she felt anything was risking the things that mattered to her. Quinn smiled and watched happily as Rachel's expression altered to match hers.

"Good thing I went up there alone then. As much as I'd have loved to bear witness to a Rachel Berry vs. Judy Fabray smack down, it probably wouldn't have been the best idea." Quinn could see that Rachel's mind working as she struggled momentarily with this change in demeanour, but the other girl didn't question it. After all these years it was clear that the brunette was mostly accustomed to her girlfriend's rapidly shifting moods, even if she sometimes took more time that necessary to internally decode at length what they actually meant. The blonde let Rachel put the pieces together; it was hard for her to understand herself, so she was unsure how the brunette managed to navigate the minefield. All Quinn knew was that once she had cried enough it was safer to retreat into humour before she was utterly dismantled.

"I could've taken her." Rachel replied, copying her girlfriend's identifiable smirk effortlessly.

Quinn laughed. It felt good. "Of course you could, honey." she retorted with only the slightest detectable trace of sarcasm. Rachel picked up on it and glowered playfully.

"Hey! Don't test me goldilocks; you don't want me to bring this." She exclaimed, punching her on the arm. They engaged in a mock fight the rest of the way back to the car and Quinn felt better than she had since before they drove into Lima. The lead weight of the past wasn't able to bear down so heavily against her with Rachel willing to distract her.

By the time they reached Puck's house she felt totally calm. Looking in the mirror she could blame her unkempt appearance on the weather. It wasn't like the boy was an expert on reading her at any rate. He saw past things, overlooking triggers in her behaviour that Rachel would red flag and call her out on. It wasn't his fault, he just didn't understand her, and he never had. Before Rachel came back into her life she had briefly considering what it might be like to raise Beth with Puck, as a family, but she promptly realised that it never would have worked. They both loved their daughter and they made a good team with regards to raising her but that was as far as it went. Their romantic tryst could never have lasted and she was naïve to think otherwise. It was the type of love that was fiery and all too quick to burn out. What she and Puck had was more akin to one time lust and that was a neither stable nor suitable situation to raise a child in. She had no regrets and none of the other parties did either. _Everything had turned out precisely how it was destined to. _

After knocking the door Beth charged straight into her arms. Quinn was more than willing to cradle her daughter, inhaling her scent as she did so. "I've missed you, angel." She said softly, their cheeks squashed together, muffling the sound. They stayed liked that for a while and she wondered how much her daughter could comprehend about what was going on with her. Beth seemed to empathise pretty strongly, but that could have been simple affection on her part and wishful thinking on Quinn's. "I love you." Puck sauntered in to greet them and tell Beth to put her toys away so they broke the embrace.

"Love you too babe." Quinn was unimpressed. "You look like you could use a drink." Puck remarked once their daughter had scampered away. She nodded, softening slightly. _Maybe he's not as clueless as I thought. _"After I get the little one tucked up, me and you, it's a date." He winked.

Quinn raised her eyebrow. "What about Rachel?"

Puck laughed. "The Puckasaurus is more than happy to share the love; there is plenty to go around." She snorted at the mention of one of his many high school nicknames and ruffled his hair lovingly. "Let's get Berry wasted; she's so much fun when she drinks."

"You're a bad influence." Quinn replied, heading off to find her girlfriend.

"You love it!"

She discovered that instead of tidying, Beth had roped Rachel into playing dolls with her. She scooted down on the floor and joined in, throwing a look in the direction of the brunette. Rachel tutted. "Don't give me that look; you know that your daughter can throw even bigger diva strops than mine. I assumed that you wouldn't want to walk into a full blown tantrum right now."

"How considerate. I'm guessing it had nothing to do with the fact that you got to be disco Barbie. I know she's your favourite. It's the gold hot pants isn't it?" Quinn chuckled as the brunette huffed and stuck out her tongue.

"Well, it's not my fault that the cheerleader Barbie is always taken. You can't call dibs when you aren't even in the room Fabray."

"Yes I can. You're just jealous because she's so flexible." Quinn demonstrated by making the doll do the splits, Beth laughed but Rachel blushed, her mind on less wholesome things. That only encouraged Quinn and soon her girlfriend was spluttering. They played for a while until Puck heard the laughter and reappeared, making them clean up for real.

"Spoil sport." Rachel pouted.

Once that was done, they set about enacting Beth's bedtime routine. Although they were all exhausted they followed it to the letter, happy but relieved when the little girl was eventually asleep. Puck was quick to pour the promised drinks, and Rachel even indulged, although she stopped after a single glass. For Puck and Quinn, one drink turned into half a bottle, so it was decided that she and Rachel would stay in the guest room. The three of them lounged on the couch content to reminisce about everything from the beginning of High School to Beth's last birthday.

"We should do this more often." Quinn suggested, grimacing when it dawned on her that Puck lived in Lima. "Though, maybe next time you should come to New York." She added hastily. The others mumbled their agreement.

Puck turned to her, smiling but serious. "Quinn, I know you hate it here, but do me one favour. Please, don't go just yet, give me a little bit more time with my baby girl. I hate not seeing her every day, you know."

"Okay, for you, and for Beth, I'll agree that we can stay a few more days." Puck was genuinely thrilled. He pulled her into a bear hug before high-fiving Rachel. The brunette was positively beaming. It all clicked into place. "You put him up to that little guilt trip, didn't you, Berry." Puck and Rachel wore identical slightly guilty yet overjoyed expressions.

"If I told you that I did, would that mean I was sleeping on the couch tonight?" She responded sheepishly. Quinn sulked for a few seconds before grinning again as Rachel planted a very persuasive kiss on her lips.

"You owe me, both of you, and I intend to collect in the form of breakfast tomorrow morning, so you best be up bright and early." She disappeared off to the bedroom with Rachel following at her heels, leaving Puck wondering what he had let himself in for.


	7. Chapter 7

**I know I promised shameless fluff as we drew to a close, and I promise the next chapter will be happy end, but this happened and it seemed wrong to fight it. I hope you will indulge me, because it is a resolution of sorts, with her mother, and the war within Quinn.**

**I kind of tried to show that Quinn has a tendency to judge too harshly (Except for Rachel but that doesn't count because she is kind of on a pedestal lol) as a result of her insecurities and this is just her trying to come to terms with that in the aftermath of everything. I'm not sure how well that comes across but there it is… Let me know what you think.**

**There is some happiness to be found within this though. Domestic bliss with the girls and Daddy Puck is my favourite. **

Quinn cursed her body clock before realising it was more likely the smells wafting through the house that had succeeded in waking her. She sat up groggily, it would have been tempting to shut her eyes and roll over again but a distinct meaty aroma had suddenly overridden that desire. Quinn wouldn't have believed that it was possible for her mouth to water so much when she was that dehydrated, but it was. That told her everything she needed to know, not only was breakfast happening, but Puck was cooking and that meant bacon was on the menu. She grinned widely, not having expected her request to genuinely be granted given how much alcohol they, minus Rachel, had consumed the night before. She had assumed if anything, said brunette would be leading the charge, and had imagined her feisty girlfriend prodding Puck out of inertia to begrudgingly stir something on the stove.

The most she had allowed herself to hope, in secret, was that he was on coffee duty. Quinn loved her girlfriend with all her heart but she didn't excel at feeding Quinn's only vice. The coffees that Rachel made were always too weak and accompanied by the standard 'evils of caffeine' lecture. No matter how many times she heard it, Quinn point blank refused to switch to green tea. The black stuff was her lifeline and she needed it this morning more than ever. She swung her legs out from the bed and grabbed the glass of water and painkillers that she knew would be waiting patiently on the table. _Such a thoughtful girlfriend. _She felt a little terrible that she had maligned Rachel's coffee making skills now. _It is true though_, she thought with a chuckle as she swallowed the pills down.

The kitchen was carnage, total chaos and she knew that the diva must have been exercising all her restraint not to kick Puck out of his own kitchen. She had turned the radio up loud, always a clear sign that she was fighting against her temper. Quinn slipped her arms around the girl in an attempt to erase the tension. "Good morning, how is my favourite future starlet?" Rachel gave her a strained smile, gesturing around the room with a sigh. "I know babe, but I really appreciate this, you have no idea." She murmured quietly as she leant in for a kiss.

Rachel's eyes gleamed in a way that made Quinn's stomach flutter. "I fully expect you to show me how much later…" She purred seductively. For an instant, the only thing that Quinn wanted to taste was Rachel Berry. Breakfast could wait. She trailed her fingers lightly under the girl's pyjama top, caressing the compliant skin, Rachel gasped as she grazed against a hardening nipple and Quinn longed to engulf it with her mouth. Suddenly, Puck cleared his throat, cocking an eyebrow in their direction.

"Ah, if only, to be a fly on the wall in the Fabray-Berry residence." He remarked with a final leer.

Rachel strode over beside him and punched him playfully on the arm. "Firstly, need I remind you, Noah that you have a lovely fiancé who could walk through that door any minute, and secondly, it's obviously Berry-Fabray."

Quinn just smirked at her girlfriend's smug expression. "I suppose that is alphabetical, who am I to disagree." She ran her fingers through her hair. "Beth awake yet?" Puck nodded, gesturing towards the den.

"Who do you think got me out of bed? It would take more than Berry. They double teamed me. She got bored of helping when she realised we weren't having pancakes for once, so she's watching cartoons." Quinn made her way out of the kitchen. "I'm serious; you need to vary that kid's diet, Q." Puck called after her.

"She's 3 years old, Noah." Quinn called back, looking over her shoulder to catch his scowl at the use of his proper name. He muttered something about Beth getting fixated and the blonde knew it was a dig about her love of bacon, but she ignored it. Rachel could fight her corner this time; she had other things on her mind.

Beth was curled up on the couch with her favourite stuffed lamb, sucking her thumb. Quinn watched her for a moment as she hummed along with the TV oblivious to her new found doting audience. She exaggerated her steps so that Beth would hear the commotion. "Mommy!" She raced over and hugged Quinn's legs tightly, not letting go of the lamb. "I missed you."

"I was only sleeping, baby girl, I didn't go anywhere." She gently lifted the girl up in her arms for a better hug. "Oh, I get it; did Daddy and Rachel tell you not to wake me up?" Beth nodded gravely as though it was really important. Quinn felt bad, a twinge of guilt, although it wasn't really her fault. In her mind, it was essential that her door was always open to Beth. She didn't want to be cold and distant like her own parents or make her daughter feel like an imposition. "I'm sorry sweetheart, I want you to know that I'm always here, if you need me, never be afraid of waking me up, I won't get mad, not ever, okay?" Beth smiled.

"Okay mommy, but what about Ra-Ra?"

Quinn grinned at the idea that Rachel, the world's biggest soft touch when it came to Beth, would ever get mad at her for anything. _Well. Except for maybe that nickname. _She pressed her cheek against her daughters. "I promise she won't either."

"If it's dark out, then..?"

"No matter what." Quinn assured. Beth seemed satisfied with that answer and they scooted back onto the couch together to watch the end of the show.

The breakfast was brought in moments later and they all ate lounging comfortably. Quinn offered to wash up, feeling idle for not helping at all, but Rachel had already cleared the kitchen, unable to take anymore of the mess. "Have I told you yet this morning that you are the love of my life?" Quinn remarked contentedly.

"No, but even if you had, I don't think I'd ever tire of hearing it." The brunette looked up at Quinn, locking their eyes for a moment. The blonde could see a million thoughts, declarations and emotions bursting to get out of those brown pools. "I love you too, Quinn, there are never enough ways for me to tell you."

The blonde kissed the tip of Rachel's nose gently. "You do just fine. You make me feel more loved than anyone I've ever known." Quinn blushed and Rachel ran her palms over the warm skin.

Beth, spurred on by Puck, began to make loud and animated gagging noises. He insisted that he hadn't told her to, but was left without a leg to stand on when his daughter gazed at him adoringly. "Did I do it right, daddy?" She asked innocently. It earned Puck a slap on the back of the head from Quinn and a glare from Rachel. He distracted them by informing them that he had planned the day's activities and would be accepting no input, constructive or otherwise, from anyone but Beth. Quinn and Rachel indulged him.

However, although she knew he was about as far from that 16 year old boy as he was ever likely to get, a voice in the back of her mind still screamed in warning. It conjured up ridiculous images of mini quad bikes and baby fight club. The blonde hated herself for even thinking things like that. Puck wasn't stupid and she needed give the boy more credit. More importantly she needed to stop letting the old resentments cloud her judgement. Puck was responsible. He hadn't meant for Beth to end up in the emergency room that time, it was an accident, a simple fall. _Stop punishing him, you are no saint either. _

She could recite off by heart countless incidents where she hadn't watched Beth as closely as she should, so it was unfair of her mind to hark back to that one day. Quinn was doing Puck a disservice. He wasn't a delinquent or a screw up anymore. _He's probably more well-adjusted than I am._ Clearly a lot of her turmoil over that day stemmed from the fact that she hadn't been there. That was why Quinn couldn't let it go. _Stop. It's in the past. Have you learnt nothing from coming back? _

"I'm such a bad person." she mumbled under her breath. It was difficult for memories not to get stirred up though, because they didn't see Puck as often as they would all like, and it made the occasions that they did, more vivid in Quinn's mind. She was determined to cut him some slack though, he was a good dad, and he did the best with the time he had. He skyped Beth every night that he couldn't see her and phoned Quinn or Rachel all the time. She couldn't ask for more. She tried not to dwell on the less than favourable comparisons to her own father that this line of consideration brought perilously close to the surface. _He's gone. Today is supposed to be fun, remember?_ The blonde took a deep breath and resolved to try harder. "I'm just jealous because he's the fun parent and Beth likes him more." Thankfully, nobody heard it to mock her. Louder, she said. "Is Juliette coming too?"

Puck shook his head. "Nah, in between all her doctor's appointments, trips to her folk's place and work schedule I feel like I've hardly seen her. Definitely tonight though, the munchkin can stay over again, right?"

Quinn smiled brightly. "Sure." She had her promise firmly in mind that she made to Rachel in the kitchen and she planned to make good on that tonight.

Ice skating wasn't something that Quinn would ever have envisaged Puck deciding to do. She briefly wondered if Rachel had something to do with the itinerary, but a single look at her girlfriend's surprised face vetoed that. This was all Puck. She stared at him quizzically and he smirked, anticipating her questions.

"I honed my skills playing hockey, mama bear." The blonde smiled. She should have known. Rachel and Beth were in their element, squealing excitedly. Puck took her arm and the two of them raced to catch up. "And you think I'm immature." He retorted, casting his eyes over the pair affectionately. The blonde chuckled, taking a mental snapshot of her girlfriend and daughter jumping around gleefully. _He's got a point._ Not that Quinn would change a single thing about any of them, Puck and Rachel, juvenile or otherwise, they were her life, they were the pieces that held her and Beth together. Without them, she might not have made it this far and certainly wouldn't be this person. Moments like this, the simple happiness she felt, were always cherished, and more so now than ever and everything she had endured the day before.

Rachel and Puck busied themselves getting Beth kitted out. Quinn let them, hanging back. She wanted to look around a while, take it in. Puck wouldn't have been aware of it when he chose to come, and she wasn't about to tell him and risk putting a dampener on the day, but she used to come here sometimes as a little girl with her mom. She never had much flair for skating, despite her skill as a dancer, but she loved to watch and hear the stories of her mother competing. Quinn found what she had been hunting for. The 'Ice Princesses' Trophy cabinet, with her mom's accomplishments etched for all to see, Quinn's breath caught in her throat as it did the first time she had seen them, her childish fingers had stroked the engraving in disbelief, and those same fingers reached out now. _It's still true. I didn't imagine it._ Quinn took her hand away; she didn't know how to feel.

Just because the remembrance was real didn't mean anything. In fact in only made it more bittersweet, revealing a glimpse of the mother she had been denied. A Judy Fabray with passion, that loved, dreamed and hoped. The blonde sighed, unsure why she was so intent to hang onto her fleeting memories. They were like shards of glass under her skin. _Why can't I just bury it all?_ It occurred to her that the reason remained, because there was something to be learnt. Santana dredging up memories of her mother in the ice-cream shop all those years ago, had encouraged her not to let her heart die, and hang onto Rachel.

She chewed over the idea that once upon a time; she had actually seen her mother skate. She saw the wasted talent with her own eyes, there was a tragic beauty to the scene. She had recognised that even then. The serenity that fell over her mother was almost heartbreaking to witness, knowing that it was fragile, and that Judy might never look so serene again. Quinn recollected that she had cried over such a notion. Perhaps it was seeing her tears that unravelled her mother. Either way, after that, Judy never came back to the rink, but sometimes Quinn would sneak back alone and try and copy her mother's poses. She never could. _What is that memory trying to teach me? I already know that I am not like her; I already have my girlfriend to show me to follow my dreams. _

Quinn shrugged, maybe there was nothing to fathom this time, not key to anything. Maybe the memory simply existed and she needed something to cling to, an image of her mother that wasn't stern or cold. She mused for a moment; the universe might have been telling her to curb her judgement, like she had tried earlier when thinking of Puck, that everybody makes mistakes and some more than others in the case of her and her mother. Quinn decided to take it as a sign not to give up. If she crossed paths with Judy again, however it went, she could conjure up that figure and remind herself that her mother isn't some cold unfeeling robot, but a broken person, a flawed human, like all the rest. Hopefully that could be enough.


	8. Chapter 8

**Here we are, we've reached the end at last. Thanks to everyone who took the time to show love for this story via reviews and alerts. I enjoyed writing it more than I ever expected that I would so I'm glad you all liked reading it too.**

**It's probably not the best written, honestly I hate including phone calls, because there is just an endless stream of dialogue, but it felt right. I wanted to end on a happy note and I realised that I hadn't included any Santana in this story so I couldn't resist. The Quinntana friendship was so nice in "Keep Singing Out" so I wanted to expand on that. **

**Basically, this chapter is just Quinntana friendship fluff, Faberry goodness and all around Beth related awesomeness, all my favourite things. What better way to end. I hope you agree.**

Quinn started unpacking straight away, ignoring everything else, including the incessantly blinking lights on the answer machine. She knew she could have waited and called Santana back first, but emptying the luggage made it real. Her friend's concern could wait another hour; the Latina had been left hanging for a week already. She hadn't been able to find the strength to reach out whilst in Lima, there was too much weighing her down, but now she was back in the apartment she felt stronger. The bright sunlight as they excited the plane had instantly stripped away her misery, allowing hope to shine through again. New York meant possibilities. She knew with certainty that the city was the place she needed to be, surrounded by love, happiness and trust instead of recanted regrets, suspicions and failures. In this place, she could live in the present, with one foot firmly in the future; she didn't have to be haunted by the past.

For once, the solitude didn't close in around her as she worked; it felt like a necessary part of the process. It was the first step to moving forward. She conjured up the mental checklist that she had crafted on the plane, silently working through it. Putting everything back in its place was number 1 and Quinn attacked the task gladly, normally she would have left it to her girlfriend's mild OCD, but she'd decided that this time, she needed to do it herself. It was a cathartic exercise. _Bury the past with him. _She hadn't forgotten that advice and the added security of distance and thus detachment made it easier to comply. The blonde smiled as she zipped up the suitcase and pushed it back under the bed. It was done, over with.

They were finally home. She had made it back to New York without becoming completely dismantled. There had been moments, but a single panic attack and some lapses in judgement were justifiable and distinctly controllable compared to the complete breakdown she had initially braced herself for. Quinn had expected to return a wreck, at least she still recognised the girl who glanced back at her in the mirror and more importantly she still had Rachel and Beth by her side. Everything had worked out alright. She hadn't been derailed by a few bumps in the road. Of course she wished that things had gone better with her mother, but although things hadn't worked out positively she could appreciate at least the degree of finality with which things ended. It was better to know and face it than to be in eternal limbo. She could begin to move on properly now. _I've said my goodbyes, all of them._

The first thing she did after leaving the bedroom was play the messages There were a few call-backs requested for Rachel so she dutifully scribbling everything down before moving on. The majority of the tape, as predicted, was consumed by messages of condolence. Quinn doodled absently on the notepaper to avoid hastily deleting all the sentiments without listening. They consisted largely of people that she didn't care about or hadn't spoken to in years and as a result sounded stilted and hollow. Quinn took a deep breath and focused on Santana's voice. The messages increased in desperation, much like the voicemails on her mobile and the blonde felt a pang of guilt. In spite of everything, it wouldn't have taken her long to leave a quick reply and console her oldest friend. _I shouldn't have left her to worry like that, it's not fair_ Quinn mused, imagining her agitation if the roles were reversed. Luckily, a later message informed her that Rachel had taken it upon herself to check in with Santana and the girl seemed calmer as a result. Quinn relaxed, thankful that her girlfriend was more considerate and thoughtful than she. _What would I do without Rachel Berry? _That question didn't bear thinking about. She picked up the receiver and dialled the number from memory.

"Hey." She muttered into the earpiece quietly.

"What the hell Q, I've left you like 6 million messages." The girl sounded exasperated and slightly worried, but not angry.

"I'm sorry, I know I just…there was a lot…" She floundered. Quinn didn't even know where to begin. Santana wasn't clueless though and stepped in before she tripped over her words again.

"It's okay, I know, I was just scared for you bitch. Berry filled me in, that girl is lucky I didn't kill the messenger, honestly. I was freaking out." She paused, her voice taking on a more cautious tone. "Jesus, you have some serious lady balls going back to that place. Rach said it was kind of brutal, you could've rung me, and I'd have gotten on the first plane and been a willing body guard. That's a guarantee; if you are ever in this situation again, don't hesitate, alright."

Quinn smiled at her friend's protective instincts. She was always pleased to have the Latina in her corner. "Thanks, San. I'd never do that to you though; I'm aware that Lima has almost as many bad memories for you as it does me and it's obvious you're really busy. Anyway, it was fine. Really, it was no picnic but it could've been worse."

Santana sounded sceptical. Quinn didn't blame her, she was surprised herself that it hadn't been a train wreck. "I'm not sure I believe you, but, well I'm here if you ever want to talk, and don't ever be afraid to call me, okay? I mean it."

"I know you do. I'll remember that. Anyway, we've just got home and it's getting kind of late, so I should go. I'll call you tomorrow though, I promise."

She could hear the smile in the other girl's voice on the end of the line. "You'd better. I miss you. Don't be a stranger."

Quinn was betting that she was wearing a matching expression herself. She longed to hug Santana. "I miss you too, we all do. You should get your ass over to The Big Apple. Beth would love to see her Auntie Tana."

Santana chuckled. "Oh, it's on. I'll check my work schedule and see if I can't shuffle some things around. On one condition, that you tell the kid to hide Berry's Streisand tapes in preparation for my arrival or else secure me a new ride back from the airport, I swear, listening to that last time was soul destroying."

Quinn snorted, fighting the loud peals of laughter. "I think you protest too much. You adore it. Wait until I tell Rachel, she's going to be so excited."

Santana sighed, still laughing as she pretended to take offence. "Whatever Q, call me." With that, communication ended. Her spirits further raised, the blonde went in search of her two girls, eager to cuddle up with them before tiredness overwhelmed her. She intended to make the most of the remaining hours until they all fell asleep. It had been a long week and this was the best TLC she knew.

"Miss me?" She remarked as she slid onto the couch beside the brunette who had Beth curled into her lap. Rachel looked up from brushing the little girl's hair.

"Of course." Quinn kissed her neck happily, imagining the brunette's grin as she buried her face into the supple flesh. "Who knew we had so much baggage?" She responded before pausing for a moment and turning to face her breathless girlfriend with a gleam in her eye. "Skeletons firmly back in the closet then?" The off-hand comment caught the blonde off-guard. She stared at the brunette, briefly stunned. Rachel wasn't normally one for teasing or mockery. _She's been hanging out with Puck too long. _Quinn considered for an instant. _I hope this is a one-off; I'm already snarky enough for the both of us._

However, she quickly recovered her wits. "Hey! The only things back in the closets are your hideous argyle sweaters, which are where they should stay, under lock and key preferably." Quinn retorted, feeling triumphant as Rachel smirk twisted into an annoyed frown. _You've been bested Berry, deal with it._ "Being snide doesn't become you my love." She whispered. "Leave it to the professionals." Rachel conceded, throwing her hands up in a gesture of mock defeat.

"Fine, whatever, you win."

"What's my prize?" Quinn replied, gazing down at her daughter and then back to Rachel with a mischievous grin.

"You can have it later."

Content, Quinn snuggled against the other girl's shoulder. The dimly flickering TV held little interest, nevertheless she picked up the remote and began channel-surfing. _It's as good a way to unwind as anything else_, she decided.The blonde settled on _Up_ since it was just starting and she had enjoyed it the first time she'd seen it. For a kids animation she found it extraordinarily deep and moving. Rachel murmured a noise of agreement at the choice and so it was settled. Quinn began to feel sleepy, but she fought to stay awake, wanting to watch the movie first and foremost, but also not yet eager for the day to end. It felt like she had hardly seen Beth, with Quinn having to keep her at arm's length during this whole visit. She knew Beth hadn't minded, busy with Puck, but Quinn nonetheless wasn't ready to retire to bed and give up on another day just yet. Her eyelids were heavy so she dragged herself up from the comfort of the cushions and got some juice in a vain attempt to revive her. Without asking, she fetched Rachel and Beth glasses too, and they both took them willingly.

"Alright, sweetheart?" She asked. Quinn didn't expect an answer considering how engrossed her daughter was in the movie, so she smiled when she received a response seconds later.

"There's no place like home." Beth exclaimed happily, parroting a phrase from her favourite film effortlessly. _That's true, _Quinn thought as she felt Rachel give her hand a gentle squeeze.

They settled back into their old routine with marked ease and there were times in the days that followed that Quinn believed that their little excursion to Lima had just been a bad dream. It was hard to reconcile what had happened there with her day to day life in New York. On the surface nothing had changed, she still had the same ongoing job hunt and dates in her diary, so nothing seemed different. Although beneath, on a deeper level everything had because Quinn had finally let go. Quinn felt genuinely happy within herself and for once it was a joy of her own creation, not dependent upon anyone. She wasn't the damsel in distress waiting to be saved; she'd dug herself out. It was an incredible sensation that she hadn't really experienced before. Prior to this, her happiness was always hinged on something like getting to New York or someone, like her girlfriend. This time, she was the source of her own delight and it was liberating to know that she was capable of that. It gave her a newfound confidence.

"What shall we do this afternoon?" Quinn pondered as Beth helped her tidy the apartment ready for Santana's arrival in the next few days. The house was already pretty clean but Rachel had gone back to school so it was mostly just the two of them in the daytime and she was always seeking new ways to keep the little girl occupied. "Do you want to go to the park?"Beth didn't answer, she seemed preoccupied. The blonde knelt down to better make eye contact. "Something wrong?"

Beth chewed her lip, deep in thought. "Mommy, what's a hot mess?" She asked anxiously.

Quinn's face scrunched in surprise. _Damn it, Puck_. There was no doubt in her mind where her daughter had heard that phrase. "Is this something you heard daddy say?" Quinn already knew what the reply would be.

Beth nodded. "Uh huh, about you." She supplied helpfully. Quinn frowned. _I'll kill him._ She had no idea how to explain this. She was sorely tempted to ring Puck and let him deal with it, but ultimately that didn't seem like a good idea. It wasn't funny, maybe it would be later, but not right then. She visualised the smirk plastered on his face if he were witnessing this scene and was immediately glad that Puck was actually far away.

Beth was waiting expectantly. "Messes are bad..." The little girl added, thinking aloud.

"Yes, but daddy didn't mean anything mean by it, honey. He was saying that although I didn't look my best, because I was tired or cranky he still thinks I'm pretty, that's all."

"Oh. Okay then."

That gave Quinn an idea. "I know, why don't we play dress up, you can give me a make-over!" Seeing the joy on her daughters face made Puck's faintly misogynistic back-handed compliment almost worth it. That's not to say that he still wouldn't be made to pay for it later, just that she was willing to temporarily overlook it.

It turned out to be a blessing. The blonde couldn't remember the last time she'd had so much fun. Time flew by as a result and the afternoon passed quickly. In spite of, or even because of the fact that she ended up looking like a psychotic clown, Quinn happily posed and preened as if she were the most in demand model on the catwalk. It was ridiculous and silly and Quinn didn't mind one bit. Beth loved it and her smiles and giggles were the most important thing. Their merriment was eventually cut short by the sound of Rachel's key in the door and Quinn knew it wouldn't be long until the brunette ended up with lipstick all over her face.

Beth greeted her at the door looking quite a sight. The brunette had clearly had a busy day and that didn't go unnoticed by the little girl. "RaRa, you're a hot mess!" she exclaimed loudly, tugging her hand and trying to drag her towards the vanity station that had been set up in the bedroom. Rachel frowned, confused and opened her mouth to disagree before clocking the sight of Quinn and dissolving into helpless giggles.

"Busy day?" She chuckled. Quinn nodded and stepped forward, embracing her girlfriend and kissing her madly so that the make-up smothered them both. Rachel tried to wriggle free but she held her in a vice like grip. "Care to tell me why Beth just-"Quinn cut her off, letting her go with a smirk.

"Don't ask, just go with it." She responded. The other girl stared at Quinn with her eyebrow raised quizzically, remaining clueless as to why she was being mildly insulted by a 3 year old.

"Noah?" It was obvious really. Quinn had already given him a lecture over the phone so they was little else she could do, but bide her time until Beth got bored of the phrase.

She shrugged. "Yeah, what can I say except welcome home."

Rachel laughed. "It's a good thing we embrace our dysfunction, huh?"


End file.
